Break 1 – Bill Maher’s best on Religion

If churches don’t have to pay taxes, they also can’t call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that’s one of those services that goes along with paying in. I’ll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.

“Religion” is a magic word that allows priesthoods to do anything they want to people. The Taliban kept their women in beekeeper suits. The Catholics got away with fucking kids!

They say Islam means peace, and I know to hundreds of millions it does, but it is also a religion that was born a conqueror. From the death of Mohammad in 632 to the Battle of Tours in 732, the army coming out of the Arabian desert “converted” half the world in a only one hundred years, and you don’t do that by handing out flyers and singing “Kumbaya.”

The Catholic Church needs to change its name to Tollhouse Cookies. A new study reveals the tally of Catholic priests who’ve been accused of molestation in the United States is approaching 5,000, which means it’s time to change the name and start over. That’s what Phillop Morris did when their name became synonymous with lung cancer – they became the good people at the Altria company. Kentucky Fried Chicken wanted you to forget the “fried” part and beame KFC. So how ’bout it, Roman Catholic Church – or should I say “RCC”?

In bible there are the words: “I am the way, the truth, and the life: and no man cometh unto the Father but by me.” Not a lot of wiggle room there. Put that next to “There is no god but Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet,” and it’s pretty much “pick a side.” One lane open on the highway to heaven.

I don’t believe God is a single parent who writes books.

Image courtesty – archman8 , otterfreak